Southern: Student meal plans now only valid at Little Debbie bakery store

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Southern Adventist University announced a major update to its student meal plan policies this morning, stating students would only be able to use their plans at the nearby Read more […]

Adventist children report great disappointment over carob Easter eggs

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Adventist parents everywhere are desperately trying to console their children amid cries of rage and great disappointment. At the counsel of the General Conference Children’s Read more […]

Michelle Obama launches Friday Night Haystacks as White House tradition

WASHINGTON, D.C. — First Lady Michelle Obama launched the latest upgrade to her Let’s Move healthy lifestyle campaign this morning with an announcement of a new Friday Night Haystacks tradition Read more […]

Batchelor v Nelson Preach-Off scheduled for Batman v Superman opening night

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — The first-ever Preach-Off between veteran Adventist evangelists, Dwight Nelson and Doug Batchelor, has been scheduled to coincide with the March 25 box office opening of Read more […]

GC bans “Hear the pennies dropping” for encouraging cheapskate offerings

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has ordered all of the denomination’s congregations to stop using the song Hear the pennies dropping in children’s Sabbath Read more […]

“In Conclusion” rated most powerful sermons words in Adventism

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — The result of an exhaustive study into what constitutes effective preaching in Seventh-day Adventism has revealed that the two most powerful words in the typical Sabbath Read more […]

Report: Adventists feel guiltiest after Sabbath potluck

SILVER SPRING, Md. — New data compiled by the General Conference Office of Archives, Statistics and Research shows that Seventh-day Adventists feel guiltiest after overeating at Sabbath potlucks. GC Read more […]

Pacquiao assumes presidency of Adventist University of the Philippines

CAVITE, Philippines — Filipino world champion boxer and congressman Manny Pacquiao was named president of the Adventist University of the Philippines in a surprise announcement this morning. “Congressman Read more […]

General Conference votes to stop all pastoral ordinations

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has voted to halt pastoral ordination across the world church. The decision was made in an effort to address rising tensions Read more […]

Trump asks Carson to endorse his “Gifted Hands”

NEW YORK, N.Y. — In his latest attempt to fend off a barrage of attacks about what critics call his “small hands,” US presidential candidate and GOP front runner Donald Trump has sought a very Read more […]