GC to increase fundamental count to 95 to commemorate Reformation

BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. — In continued celebration of the 500th anniversary of the Reformation, the General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church will be increasing the Read more […]

GC celebrates 500th anniversary of Reformation by silencing dissent

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church celebrated the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation by putting unprecedented effort into silencing Read more […]

Youth Pastor fired for justifying Sabbath snorkeling as “aquatic nature walk”

GLENDALE, Calif — A Youth Pastor in Southern California has been fired after taking his church teens snorkeling on Sabbath afternoon. “Traditionally, we Adventists can only wade on Sabbath, Read more […]

Final Hour Catering makes potluck dishes on behalf of time-starved Adventists

ADVENTIST WORLD — Time-starved Adventists who have forgotten to make a potluck dish to bring to church can now order their dish from Adventist-owned Final Hour Catering. “There’s never enough Read more […]

La Sierra debuts crowd surfing during chapel praise singing

RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Always on the cutting edge of Adventist innovation, La Sierra University has launched crowd surfing as part of its chapel praise and worship experience. Student crowd Read more […]

Ellen White quote generator discovered in brain of every Adventist parent

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A worldwide study of the inner workings of the Adventist mind has discovered Ellen White quote generators embedded in the brains of every Adventist parent. Loma Linda Read more […]

Single Adventist women rate available church males “great disappointment”

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — An international study of the views of single Adventist women on romantic relationships has revealed near unanimous agreement that the quality of available Adventist Read more […]

Tim Gunn hired to improve Adventist Sabbath morning fashion

ADVENTIST WORLD — American fashion consultant Tim Gunn, of Project Runway fame, has been hired by the Adventist Church in a bid to improve the fashion choices of its members on Sabbath morning. Gunn Read more […]

Adventist Church to require auditions before authorizing special music performances

ADVENTIST WORLD — Anyone wishing to provide special music at an Adventist church will need to be approved by a special auditioning process. Church leaders said that auditions can happen no Read more […]