PUDDLE, Fla. — An Adventist contractor has launched a business exclusively dedicated to building shallow pools appropriate for Sabbath wading. Holly Stride has taken out ads all over Adventist Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — English-speaking Adventists around the world have been instructed to only use King James English when praying. Church leaders explained that exclusive use of the 17th Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — Starting this weekend, Adventists will be subjected to Sabbath School exams to test their knowledge of the quarterly. The weekly exams will take place right before the start Read more […]
THE WOODS — Since the latest North Korean nuclear test, Adventist wilderness bunkers have turned into the hottest properties on the real estate market. Previously the exclusive obsession Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD – A diagnosed Badventist rushed to complete the finishing touches on the construction of a hidden pantry this Friday afternoon. Anxious to get the job done before sunset, Mocco Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md.— An Adventist Visa card was launched today with some unique features. The credit card is available exclusively through ABC stores and will not work on Sabbath. “Our Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — Raising hands in worship has always been taboo in Adventist circles. The practice has now been elevated to the unenviable status of “Adventist unpardonable sin” by theologians Read more […]
COLUMBIA, Md. — The new headquarters for the North American Division of the Adventist Church will house the first fully-decaf Starbucks store in the world. Slated to open next month, the Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — For the first time in Adventist history, churches will feature official seating charts. Each member will have an assigned seat and visitors will be seated at the very front Read more […]
ATRAPADO, Fla. — Minutes ago, 250 souls were freed from Atrapado Lane Adventist Church by a SWAT team. The rescue mission took place after news that a visiting preacher’s altar call had Read more […]
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