SILVER SPRING, Md. — A database has been created to track Cheapventists (Adventists known at their local churches for attending potluck without contributing their own dishes.) Since word Read more […]
FALLEN WORLD — Lucifer himself claimed full responsibility for the “absolutely astounding sexism in the Adventist Church” in a statement released today. The ruler of demons said that he had Read more […]
LONG HORN, Neb. — An Adventist pastor has completely lost hearing in his right ear after some unforeseen difficulties at a baby dedication last Sabbath. Pastor Ore Haagh of Trumpet Sound Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — Wild-eyed conspiracy theorists running backwoods independent prophecy ministries from cabin studios across North America are running competing fundraisers to cash in on today’s Read more […]
WORLDWIDE — Adventist BNB, a service that promises to connect Adventist vacationers and others seeking accommodation with Adventist hosts around the world, has launched with a staggering 144,000 Read more […]
LINCOLN, Neb. — In a step sure to revolutionize Adventist college recruiting, Union College announced today that transfer students to the school will be placed in the same class as their camp Read more […]
Silver Spring, Md. — A bulk order of discount blackout drapes was installed in every window of the General Conference offices today. The drapes were fitted carefully to prevent world leaders Read more […]
Hi BarelyAdventist Readers, BarelyAdventist usually sticks to satire and humor in these posts but both have been dispensed with this time. Again: THIS IS NOT SATIRE. Some of you probably Read more […]
PORTLAND, Ore. — An Adventist pastor has been terminated after he was caught using the church manual as a door stop. When asked to explain his behavior, Pastor Frank Laughlez of Grace Conditional Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — A Master Guide who had earned every Pathfinder honor currently available passed out today while speaking to a large group of club directors in Silver Spring. Dressed Read more […]
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