Shark Tank Rejects Adventist Boarding Academy Idea As “So Last Century”

 

Next

All kidding aside, click to learn more about Union College

CULVER CITY, Calif. --- The investors on business pitch show "Shark Tank" have roundly rejected a pitch for what a group of ordained Adventist pastors called "An Adventist Boarding Academy."

Billionaire investor Mark Cuban pointed out that the pastors' strategy of charging an arm and a leg for a less-than-robust academic environment was likely to backfire even if the school did have amazing vespers programming.

FUBU founder Daymond John told the pastors that their idea of making up any and all financial losses by importing English Language students from China was a short-term strategy at best as it did not increase student enrollment from constituent families.

Inventor Lori Greiner dismissed the boarding academy idea as "so last century" after the pastors explained that the school would be located in the middle of nowhere and hoped to attract students from suburban Adventist families living hundreds of miles away that don't want to send their kids to the wilderness for an education.


SPONSORED LINKS

You've had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

.

8 Comments

  1. Joe

    I spent my Senior (HS) year at Campion Academy graduating in 1962 – Straight out of 1890 – AND, having now become Suburbia vs the previous ‘nowhere’ – Having spent my entire educational life in SDA schools, I didn’t figure out for about 5 years how ‘un-robust’ was the environment – ie; didn’t know what we were missing in the ways of the world –

  2. Richard Mills

    Somehow BA omitted Kevin & Robert’ insights to this dilemma. The bottom Line is always the MONEY.Many SDA parents just do not have the thousands of dollars to spend on a Christian education. What’s a family gonna do? Become entrepreneurs. Get a Shark to help you and you are on your way to financial freedom. I know there is someone out there who can reinvent the wheel or a mousetrap. A novel idea-make your kid work to pay his/her way at an SDA Academy!!

    • Joe

      Further details on my SDA education – My parents kept us in absolute poverty by putting 5 of us thru the same ‘drill’ – when we all ‘got out’ of the system, they were fairly ‘hog-nasty- rich – ANNNND, I worked so many jobs at Campion, that my Dad told me I had ‘out earned’ my expenses & they had to pay him for the difference – Net result of all this – I resent the SDAs & their ‘programs’ 60 years later because of the warpage from the Poverty –

  3. Richard Mills

    Joe-my heart cries for you. When I entered academy, I found a job in a local grocery store doing all kinds of jobs. It paid my way through academy. While attending the SDA College, I worked several summers for a large dairy delivering milk products in and around Boston. I also worked at the college always earning enough to pay my bills and some left over. I owned zilch upon graduation. Whatever happened to the good old fashioned work ethic? Kids nowadays are caught up in too much electronic stuff. Get back to work!!

  4. Richard Mills

    Joe-I’m a street smart guy who ran around the tough streets of Boston & suburbia. It’s possible to mix street smarts & an SDA education together in order to go along. Street smart wins out all the time.Gotta think ahead of this game. See ya in da hood, man.

  5. Pablo

    Robert said this would not be a good business for him, because he is already investing on a Christian Boarding Academy located in Silicon Valley.
    Me Wonderful, as always, after telling and emotional and compelling story, he says: you should take this idea to the back of the barn and shoot it!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *