SEATTLE, Wash. — Senior Adventist pastors from across greater Seattle were called together for emergency meetings yesterday. One day after the Seattle Seahawks were defeated in the Super Bowl by the New England Patriots, the Seattle pastors worked for 12 hours straight crafting a statement denouncing competitive sports.
“Competition only brings out the worst in human nature,” said newly-elected Seattle area pastor coordinator, Sean Bridgeport, in the statement which was released today. “We as the pastors of Seattle’s Adventist churches are taking a firm stand against competitive sports of any kind.”
To show that they meant business, the pastors cancelled the annual Seattle Adventist Flag Football Showdown scheduled to take place next Sunday.
Analysts note that this is the most aggressive critique of competitive sports to be issued by any body of pastors within the North American Division this century.
Asked whether the announcement had anything to do with the drumming experienced by the Seahawks, Bridgeport cut off church reporters with a curt “Of course not.” Skeptical reporters pressed Bridgeport further saying that a widely-circulated picture of a Seahawks fan at the Super Bowl bearing a striking resemblance to him had surfaced over the last 24 hours. Bridgeport claimed to have “no comment” on the picture.
In other news, Bridgeport has canceled a retreat that has long been in the works to promote urban evangelism idea sharing between Seattle and Boston pastors.