Slide Show: How to snag an Adventist of your very own

So now you know how to date like an Adventist, but where do you FIND one in the first place? Adventists are a shy people that tend to stick to themselves in large groups, making it hard to single one out from the herd. But with the right know-how*, it is possible to hunt one down. After some exhaustive research and extensive hearsay collection, BarelyAdventist presents its field guide to bagging an Adventist of your very own.

Thousands of single Adventists furiously flirting on last GC day

SAN ANTONIO, Texas — With the doors of the ark-like Alamodome about to close for good on the San Antonio General Conference Session, single Adventists are swarming around each other in an all-out Read more […]

Hundreds of Union College student couples break up now that Parents Weekend has safely passed

LINCOLN, Neb. — The infamous break-up line,¬†“It’s not you, it’s me,” has been uttered hundreds of times over the last several hours at Union College. As soon as families left campus to Read more […]

EXPOSED: Most overused pick-up line in Adventism

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — According to an international survey of 10,000 single Seventh-day Adventist women over the age of 21, the most overused pick-up line used by single Adventist men is Read more […]

96-year-old Adventist woman marries for 11th time

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich — Through no fault of her own, Eleanor Chambers has outlived 10 husbands and is about to marry her eleventh, Charles Spencer.¬† “I lost count after I beat Elizabeth Taylor’s Read more […]

Hope Channel to release Adventist version of “The Bachelorette”

“Adventist television just got spicier,” said Hope Channel¬†spokesperson Brad Curtis as he unveiled the channel’s plan to introduce Hope for Everyone, an Adventist version of the the reality show Read more […]