SCANDAL: Researcher Discovers EGW Favored Doritos Over Fritos In Haystacks

SILVER SPRING, Md. —— General Conference senior leadership rushed into an emergency meeting this morning after a researcher at the White Estate forwarded a memo claiming “irrefutable evidence Read more […]

NEWSTART Enthusiast To Start New Life (After Holidays)

ADVENTIST WORLD — Rez Allusion, a middle-aged Pathfinder club director who packed on a few too many over Thanksgiving, has vowed to start faithfully abiding by NEWSTART health principles as Read more […]

Shark Tank Rejects Adventist Boarding Academy Idea As “So Last Century”

  CULVER CITY, Calif. — The investors on business pitch show “Shark Tank” have roundly rejected a pitch for what a group of ordained Adventist pastors called “An Adventist Boarding Academy.” Billionaire Read more […]