Old Testament Literalist Pumped About Bringing Back Stoning

A self-professed Bible scholar and occasional Wilderness SDA usher known locally as “Rock-Hurling Randy” is convinced that society has gone astray from its righteous roots and is determined Read more […]

Prodigal Son’s Brother Suddenly Vegan For Return Feast

ANCIENT JUDEA — A catering crisis blew up minutes after the prodigal son returned to his father. Although most of the household and its well-compensated staff were delighted at the announcement Read more […]

Choose Your Own Adventure Compilation Makes White Say Whatever You Want

PODUNK, Crazyville – A new “choose your own adventure” compilation of Ellen G. White quotes is flying off the presses at Brimstone Publications. Titled Cherrypicked, the volume contains strongly-worded Read more […]

Ellen White quote generator discovered in brain of every Adventist parent

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A worldwide study of the inner workings of the Adventist mind has discovered Ellen White quote generators embedded in the brains of every Adventist parent. Loma Linda Read more […]