Adventist church greeters required to use breath mints

ADVENTIST WORLD — In a move towards fresher hospitality for Adventist churches, greeters will be required to use breath mints as of this coming Sabbath. The new policy was established after Read more […]

Adventist deacons issued Super Soakers to wake up church nappers

ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventist deacons have received the ultimate weapon to combat napping in church: Super Soakers. Shipments of the high-power water guns arrived at Adventist churches worldwide Read more […]

Seating charts made official at Adventist Churches

ADVENTIST WORLD — For the first time in Adventist history, churches will feature official seating charts. Each member will have an assigned seat and visitors will be seated at the very front Read more […]

Scottish Adventist banned from Michigan Conference for “cross-dressing”

UPTITE, Mich. — A Scottish Adventist visiting Michigan for the first time was chased out of Uptite Lane Adventist Church for what stone-faced deacons called “shameless cross-dressing.” Alastair Read more […]

Black Sabbath members visit Adventist Church, change name to Happy Sabbath

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A chance visit to an Adventist church in Loma Linda last Sabbath has reportedly led members of world-renowned heavy metal band Black Sabbath to change their name to Happy Read more […]