End Times Sermon Interrupted by Member Asking if Potluck is Still On

Pastor Bartholomew Thompson’s sermon on the impending apocalypse took a dramatic nosedive this Sabbath, thanks to an unexpected inquiry from the congregation. As Thompson weaved a tapestry of biblical Read more […]

Potluck Miraculously Solves Adventist Differences

SLURP, Mich. — In a groundbreaking study conducted by the Institute of Adventist Quirks and Quibbles (IAQQ), researchers have found that the vast majority of theological and lifestyle disagreements Read more […]

7 Adventist Potluck Dishes Ranked According to Awesomeness

Sabbath is coming and you BETTER bring something good to potluck. Here is the definitive ranking of your options: 1) Haystacks  No self-respecting Adventist congregation can go for too Read more […]

15 Reasons to be Adventist

As much as it can be good to have a healthy sense of humor about your faith and avoid taking yourself too seriously, it’s also helpful to think carefully about why you’re an Adventist. Here Read more […]

Mandatory: Cooking Lessons For Underperforming Potluck Contributors

ADVENTIST WORLD – As of this coming Sunday morning, every Adventist member that consistently turns up to potluck with dishes deemed “underperforming” by 50% or more of their church board, will Read more […]

Adventist Walk of Shame: Leaving Potluck With Untouched Dish

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — According to the Andrews University Dietetics Department, the greatest source of shame in the Adventist experience is the prospect of leaving a potluck with a dish you Read more […]