Liberal Adventist Would Feel More “Blessed” With Song Service Smoke Machine

PASADENA, Calif. — Liberal Adventist, Lovey Dovey, has written an emoji-filled social media plea to the Southern Californian Conference decrying the complete absence of smoke machines in local Read more […]

Clapping sound heard from rocks as Adventist leaders ban church applause

SILVER SPRING, Md. — General Conference officials were both alarmed and genuinely annoyed this morning to hear a loud clapping sound coming from rocks around the huge building housing the Seventh-day Read more […]