7 Reasons to Lay Off Pastor’s Kids

Alright, Adventist fam, let’s talk about the elephant in the sanctuary – pastor’s kids. We all know they practically come pre-ordained, right? Wrong! But before you launch into a full-on spiritual Read more […]

Altar Call Length Doubled To Make Up For Time Lost During COVID

SILVER SPRING, Md. – The General Conference Office of Quality Assurance has announced that, as churches start to open up for in-person services, altar call will need to be twice as long. “COVID Read more […]

Mafia delegation praises elimination of secret electronic vote at GC San Antonio

UPDATE (factual and not at all satirical): About 2 hours after the satirical story below was published, the decision was made to completely scrap electronic voting at GC San Antonio. Here’s a link Read more […]