Area Adventist Hides Light Under Bushel, Starts Fire

Instead of shining his light all around the neighborhood, local Adventist Luke Warm made the ill-advised decision to hide his light under a bushel earlier today. A mere spark from Warm’s light Read more […]

“Jesus Loves The Little Children” Finally Recognized As Racist

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Adventist Sabbath Schools will no longer sing the chorus ‘Jesus Loves The Little Children’ after what relieved members have described as a long-overdue acknowledgement Read more […]

Slide Show: 10 resolutions Adventists probably won’t keep

Ah, the resolutions of a new year: filled with so many good intentions, so much promise! Too bad it will all probably degenerate into a wretched suckpool of despair, half-hearted excuses and flagging energy in a matter of months. But hey, you never know. This could be your year!

Slide Show: Great Moments from Cradle Roll

We’re taking it back to the old school because we’re so cool (or old fools). So take a stroll down memory lane with us (or for those who have never been to cradle roll, prepare for sights that may amaze/terrify) and celebrate great moments from cradle roll.

New study reveals findings on “Pew Paralysis”

Most Seventh-day Adventist church-goers, ranging from the casual to the committed, have experienced what researchers call “pew paralysis”— once seated, they remain confined to a space roughly Read more […]