New Rule: Adventists That Can’t Play An Instrument Must Seek Rebaptism

Non-musical Adventists will need to re-enter the watery grave thanks to new guidance from the GC department of music compliance. The rationale for the new rule is that members that don’t play Read more […]

Tone-deaf Special Music Soloist Strikes Fear Into Hearts of Church Members as He Promises to Sing for Third Sabbath in a Row

Chalkboard, Mich. — Members of Flat Note Seventh-day Adventist Church are bracing themselves for yet another special music by their tone-deaf soloist (and only willing special music provider) Read more […]

OBG – Slideshow: Are you Adventist hot?

Look what we dug up from the archives! 21 Things that Turn An Adventist On: // Advertise on BarelyAdventist SPONSORED LINKS Single, separated, divorced and widowed Adventists Read more […]

Slide Show: Are you Adventist-Hot?

Think you’re hot stuff? You may be surprised at what it takes to make an Adventist sweat. Take a look at the following and find out if you have what it really takes to make an Adventist all hot and bothered.

Slide Show — Stand, sit or kneel: What to do during an Adventist church service

Confused about what to do during an Adventist church service? True, church bulletins can be rife with confusing jargon and language, but while most services vary widely in format, they’re very similar in content.

Slide Show: 15 things Adventists say, decoded

Ever wonder about the meaning of those strange phrases and words Adventists let fly with the greatest of ease? Wonder no more! Read on to find out what your Adventist friends are really trying to tell you.

Slide Show: 15 greatest disappointments of Adventists

Thousands of people, some of whom had given away all of their possessions, waited expectantly for Jesus to appear on Oct. 22, 1844. When He didn’t appear, the date became known as the Great Disappointment. But out of the Great Disappointment the seeds of the Seventh-day Adventist Church sprouted. We’re a little late to the celebration (disappointing, we know ::haaaaa::) but in honor of that momentous occasion, we present a list of things that Adventists find disappointing.

Old man praises Adventism’s sleep quality benefits

PORTLAND, Ore. —  Chuck Matthews, 75, says he’s been a Christian since he was a child but that his recent conversion to Adventism has worked wonders for his sleep.  “I converted mostly Read more […]