Trump converts to NEWSTART, becomes “YUGE fan of water”

Fiji water must be happy
Fiji water must be happy
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A recent conversion to Adventist NEWSTART principles led to President Donald Trump’s now-infamous water sipping during a recent speech.

Trump had relentlessly mocked Republican presidential rival Senator Marco Rubio for sipping water during his response to former president Obama’s 2013 State of the Union address.

The president’s new found love for water comes as the result of a secret visit to “this crazy little place called Weimar” that he said had made him a “YUGE fan of water.”

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Trump said he visited Weimar because their NEWSTART program “sounded like a fantastic idea” now that it has been a year since his election.

After a weekend immersion course in Adventist healthy living principles, Trump said that he was happy to have learned a lot but that the food he had been served at Weimar was “terrible… just horrible.”

He said that apart from the benefits of hydration, his other big NEWSTART takeaway was that he needed to expose himself to more sunshine on his golf courses.


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4 Comments

  1. RicheeeRich

    Yo, Not Konner-you a big fan of TOFU? People around my house make it a million ways. Still tastes like tofu. I’m sticking to my Little Debbies. Can’t go wrong consuming an SDA food item!

  2. RicheeeRich

    NEWSTART-
    N-need more Little Debbies
    E-eat lots of Little Debbies
    W-want more Little Debbies
    S-sale on at Walmart for Little Debbies
    T-took some Little Debbies to potluck
    A-always have Little Debbies on hand at home
    R-really good stuuf, Little Debbies
    T-try some Little Debbies at every meal

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