Trump not opposed to a registry of Adventists either

Donald Trump

NEW YORK, N.Y. — After drawing fire this week for seeming to support a US registry of Muslims, real estate magnate and presidential candidate, Donald Trump has done what he usually does in the face of controversy: double down. He now says that he wouldn’t oppose a nationwide registry of Seventh-day Adventists either.

Trump says that the database of Adventists has nothing to do with religious extremism but would rather serve as a tool to solidify his polling lead over Seventh-day Adventist retired neurosurgeon and fellow presidential candidate, Ben Carson.

Since discovering Seventh-day Adventism a few weeks ago, Trump has decided that one of the best ways to blunt the threat of competition from Carson is to find ways to mobilize Carson’s denomination to support a Trump presidency instead.

Adventist leaders are highly skeptical of Trumps plans. “No Adventist is ever going to support anyone that wants to put us in some database,” said General Conference Religious Liberty spokesperson and avid mountaineer, Runfer Hiels.

“Besides, we’re not much help to Carson in the first place,” said Hiels. “If Trump knew anything about Adventists he’d know we’re about the least supportive voters an Adventist candidate could ever encounter.”

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26 Comments

  1. Donald Dump

    I’m not really worried about Ben Carsinogen or Colonel Burny Sanders. I’m worried about Hilarious Clinton – and she’s a Methodist, and they are supportive of their candidates. Woe is me!

  2. Morris Foreman

    If I could share my testimony with Donald Trump and others, it would be: I was born and raised in the SDA Church and I attended SDA schools through college. Now I am middle aged, and in the past couple of years, I have to come to understand that there is no “one true church.” Any church claiming to be the “one true church,” and focusing on a list of doctrines (more than a love relationship with Christ), and seeking to micromanage its members’ lives, is a cult.

    Now I understand that the SDA church, and others like it, are business enterprises similar to multi-level marketing companies, where the real goal is to increase membership in order to bring in more tithe money. In order to inspire other Christians to join this tithe-generating system, the SDA church tries to convince them that they will be lost if they don’t join this “one true church.” Then it tries to scare them from leaving, by fostering an “us vs. them” attitude where the world is divided into SDA and “non-SDA”–and everything “non-SDA” is bad. This is a cultic strategy.

    I am glad to be in a non-denominational fellowship now, where the focus is on falling in love with Jesus, loving God with all my heart, and loving my neighbor as myself. I have found the freedom of grace and Christ’s promise: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”

    1. Ray Kraft

      Morris Foreman

      Thank you. Nowhere in the gospels does Jesus say, “Start a new church and worship me!” Nowhere in the gospels does Jesus say, “Spend gazillions of hours writing zillions of pages of theology trying to extract every possible jot and tittle of meaning out of every word and phrase in the Bible.”

      No, he says, “Feed the hungry, care for the sick, shelter the homeless, whatever you do for them, you do for me.”

      To the Rich Young Ruler he says, “Sell what you have, and give to the poor.”

      To the rabbi who asked, “What is the greatest commandment?” he says, “To love God, and to love your neighbor as you love yourself, this is the law and the prophets.”

      The Adventists, and many other churches and religions, have fallen for the fallacy of “salvation by theology.”

    2. beezer

      Hey, we each have our stories and I certainly respect your experience…mine is nothing like yours. As a convert, I have never felt my faith so alive as in the SDA church. Now lets get back to being funny!

  3. Now we know. The Donald, not the Papacy is the horn of Daniel! How, you say? Adventists need to be persecuted. Papacy hasn’t done squat so fogetabotit. While president he can use the list of Adventists to round them and force them to sign on to his new 6 day calendar (which eleminates Saturday). Those who resist will be forced to clean rooms in his chain of hotels until they see the error of their ways. Finally persecution! After 2400 days Jesus will swoop in with his cloud and wisk them off to paradise. Now we know the plan! THE END IS NEIGH. And none too soon.

  4. Ray Kraft

    This is kinda funny. Thinking about “salvation by theology,” I am remembering, I was going to Loma Linda Union Academy when The Beatles landed in America, and all the teachers and preachers and parents were up in arms warning us kids of the evils of the Satanic music of those long haired hooligans from England.

    And then they did a song by John Lennon, some of you may be heathen enough to have heard it, ” . . . All you need is love, all you need is love, all you need is love, love, love is all you need . . .”

    And I thought, yes, John Lennon & The Beatles are singing the message of Jesus, Love God, and love your neighbor as yourself, this is the law and the prophets . . . all you need is love.

    1. Fay

      I can trump that. When my folks moved us to an Adventist community, to insure that us kidlets didn’t marry heathen (people not sda), I was scandalized to hear the older kids whispering about going to a neighboring town to watch the forbidden Sound of Music

    2. Amen, Ray. “By this they will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.” There is a hurting world out there crying out to Christ’s followers,
      “I want to know what love is
      I want you to show me
      I want to know what love is
      I know you can show me….”

      It was love that saved me. “For God so loved….” I was not saved by theology or adherence. And His love transforms hearts and lives; it brings them them meaning and purpose. I can imagine those whom we share His love with, singing:

      “You were my strength when I was weak
      You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
      You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
      You saw the best there was in me
      Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
      You gave me faith ’cause you believed.
      I’m everything I am
      Because you loved me.”

  5. Joe SDA

    Well thats ok. But I think it is a good thing to keep close tabs on them muslims. Some in their flock are violent extremist and it is good to monitor.
    If the SDA ever has a violent extremist group, well then they can watch us too.

    PS I like Donald’s idea of bringing back waterboarding.

    Would you rather go thru waterboarding or beheading?

  6. Richard Mills

    Did you mention the word waterboarding? We used to that way back at junior camp to find out who burned down the director’s cabin with all his earthly belongings in it!!
    Anybody at Mt. Aetna Camp remember this?? Woe iz me!!

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