Thursday, November 14, 2024

Taylor Swift commissioned to lead crusty GC crowd in “Shake it Off”

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Taylor Swift has promised to dress and perform appropriately for the Adventist crowd...
Taylor Swift has promised to dress and perform appropriately for the Adventist crowd…

SAN ANTONIO, Texas — In an effort to lift the funk that has settled over General Conference San Antonio delegates and attendees, session organizers have enlisted some star power for tonight’s meeting in the Alamodome: Pop megastar Taylor Swift will perform an Adventist-appropriate version of her hit song “Shake It Off.”

“We realize it’s a little unorthodox to have Taylor sing with us for song service but we need a change of mood around here,” said GC Session music director, Aaron Flub, referring to palpable tension that is still keenly felt after the controversial “NO” vote on regionally-approved women’s ordination that took place yesterday.

Swift will lead the Alamodome crowd in what Flub is calling a “lightly coordinated song service action sequence to lift the spirits and shake off any ill feeling that remains from yesterday’s proceedings.”

Members that are concerned about inappropriate shaking to the song’s chorus can rest assured that Swift has been thoroughly coached in Adventist culture. Alamodome Adventists will simply be required to vigorously shake hands as Swift sings, “I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake…”

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