BREAKING NEWS
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The annual world mission-themed Harvest Festival (Halloween) Costume Party at the General Conference headquarters took an unexpected turn today as a female employee was escorted out of the building for looking “too ordained.”
Stewardship Department Executive Assistant, Mujer Innocente objected to the charge and said that she had not had the time to go look for the kimono she had planned to wear and so had simply come to the party in her usual professional attire.
Lead organizer Manny Olskul rejected Innocente’s explanation, however, claiming that she had deliberately chosen a costume that made her look “too much like leadership material.”
Olskul said, “We’ve just gotten through a very trying summer shooting down female ordination. The last thing we need is someone starting the campaigning once more.”
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