Friday, February 14, 2025

Adventist pews rated least comfortable in Christendom

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a Pew Research Center survey of Christian attitudes toward the comfort level of their church pews, Seventh-day Adventists have given their pews the worst rating of any denomination surveyed.

“I honestly don’t know what they are doing with my offering money,” said Berrien Springs-based third generation Adventist, Leo Dacia. “My church hasn’t spent a dime on pews since Emmanuel Missionary College became Andrews University.”

Adventist members from around the world backed up their low ratings with pictures of rickety plastic and metal folding chairs; IKEA stools in various stages of assembly or disrepair and threadless, discolored pew cushions.

Although irritated church member theories abound, many Adventists surveyed assumed that theirs pew were deliberately designed to minimize comfort so as to keep congregants alert. Dacia was convinced that “rather than cutting their sermons short, our preachers are counting on awful seating arrangements to keep us awake in services.”

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