BREAKING NEWS
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In continued celebration of the 500th anniversary of the Reformation, the General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church will be increasing the number of fundamental beliefs of the denomination to 95.
“Luther had a lot more wiggle room with his 95 theses than we have with our current 28 fundamentals,” said GC Director of Fundie Creepe, Max Credo.
He said that although a 14-page draft of suggestions for extra fundamentals is currently making the rounds of various GC committees, there are “endless possibilities” for the expansion of the Adventist statement of belief.
Creepe said that official statements on matters as vital as preferred veggie meat brands, permissible academic integrity and the ideal length of nature walks had been “waiting for years to be enshrined in Adventist creed.”
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