Saturday, May 17, 2025

Bleak Prospects: Silver Spring 7-Elevens Flooded With Applications From Panicked GC Officials Facing Election Season

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SILVER SPRING, Md. — 7-Eleven stores in the Silver Spring area have run out of application forms after being flooded by employment requests from GC officials worried about their re-election prospects.

With GC Session 2020 just around the corner, some of the convenience store applicants have offered to jump ship to 7-Eleven before next summer as the chain offers several times more job security than the cavernous denominational headquarters.

“We are running into a logistical nightmare because all our recent job applicants are requesting Friday night and Saturdays off,” said a local store manager. “Many candidates are also asking about whether they have to sign any compliance documents ahead of their hire dates.”


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