Monday, June 23, 2025

CDC Labels Hymnals Super Spreaders

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ATLANTA, Ga. — Adventist hymnals are headed for the dumpsters after a statement released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention calling the volumes “super spreaders.”

The CDC said hymnals, frequently shared by at least two people during song services, are handled far too much for them to be safe.

Specific high-frequency songs in the hymnals were identified as being infection hotspots.

“‘Don’t forget the Sabbath’ is an absolutely killer,” warned the CDC, counseling the Adventist Church to transition to exclusively PowerPoint song services when churches start opening up again.


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