Tammy Smugworth, a long-time member of the Pineview Seventh-day Adventist Church, has reportedly been spending hours in front of her mirror, perfecting what she calls her “I knew it all along” face for the moment of Christ’s return.
“I want to make sure I have just the right blend of vindication and holier-than-thou when Jesus comes back,” Smugworth explained, demonstrating a slight smirk coupled with raised eyebrows. “It’s important that all those Sunday-keepers and meat-eaters know that we were right without me having to say a word.”
Smugworth’s husband, Herbert, revealed that his wife has been practicing her smug expression for months. “She’s got different versions for various scenarios,” he said. “There’s the ‘Oh, you thought we were a cult?’ look, the ‘Guess that Sabbath thing was important after all’ gaze, and my personal favorite, the ‘Hope you enjoyed those unclean foods while you could’ grimace.”
Fellow church members have expressed mixed reactions to Smugworth’s dedication. Some admire her commitment to non-verbal witnessing, while others worry it might send the wrong message.
Pastor Jim Humble attempted to address the issue diplomatically: “While we’re certainly confident in our beliefs, perhaps we should focus more on joy and less on… smugness when we think about Christ’s return.”
At press time, Smugworth was reportedly working on a new expression she calls the “Well, well, well, look who decided to show up for the Second Advent” face, specifically aimed at former Adventists who left the church.