96-year-old Adventist woman marries for 11th time

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich — Through no fault of her own, Eleanor Chambers has outlived 10 husbands and is about to marry her eleventh, Charles Spencer.  “I lost count after I beat Elizabeth Taylor’s record, but since you were doing the article I went through and counted up my wedding pictures,” said Chambers in an interview with her local paper. “Charles will be my 11th husband!  I am so blessed.”

“Honestly, after John, my third husband died, the rest of my marriages have been a bit of a blur,” said Chambers.  “They just kept croakin’ on me, those turkeys.”

Fortunately, finding good Adventist dates has been easy since Chambers moved into Elm Tree Lane, an Adventist assisted care facility.  “I did the same thing with all of them,” said Chambers of her seduction style.  “I told them that God Himself didn’t want man to be alone and that I’d make a mighty fine wife. It always worked.”

“At this age, men drop like flies so I learned not to get too torn up when they passed on.  I knew I’d see them again someday,” said Chambers.  “The only thing I worry about is the meeting them all in heaven…might get a little awkward. I still worry about that sometimes.”

Chambers is not letting her logistical/theological worries slow down her romantic life too much though.  “There’s no time to waste when you’re my age. I’ll work it out when I get up there.  In the meantime, I’ve got a wedding to plan!”

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