COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Ellen and James Casados fled their own wedding festivities minutes after the ceremony ended today. Telling themselves that their guests would do just as fine at the reception without them, the couple snuck out of the church through a side door and into a waiting Uber. The Casados ignored the frantic calls of their family and friends as they asked their driver to floor it on the way to a local hotel. All the way there, the newlyweds took turns professing their love for each other and blasting their pastor for taking so long with his remarks. To address a twinge of guilt over going MIA, the couple updated social media profiles as they pulled in to the hotel. Both claimed to have been impressed to “get to know each other.”
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