GC Stewardship Department employee wins Maryland Lottery

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The winner of the Maryland’s most recent Mega Millions Lottery jackpot has released a statement saying that he is “at once the luckiest and the unluckiest man in Maryland.” With Read more […]

Fritos pays tithe to Seventh-day Adventist Church as thanks for haystacks business

PLANO, Tex. — Frito-Lay announced this morning that it had commenced paying a ten percent tithe to the Seventh-day Adventist Church on net revenue from sales of its popular Fritos corn chips. The Read more […]

Female employee ejected from GC Halloween party for looking “too ordained”

BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. — The annual world mission-themed Harvest Festival (Halloween) Costume Party at the General Conference headquarters took an unexpected turn today as a female Read more […]

Southern to host Beasts of Revelation-themed Halloween Party

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Citing a need to sanitize a downright pagan holiday, Southern Adventist University administrators have announced a Beasts of Revelation-themed Halloween Party. Officially Read more […]

Trump threatens to convert to Adventism if Carson keeps beating him in polls

NEW YORK CITY, N.Y. — Immediately on the heels of critiquing Republican rival Ben Carson’s Seventh-day Adventist faith, presidential candidate Donald Trump is now threatening to convert to Adventism Read more […]