Dwight Nelson declared missing person, last seen playing Pokémon GO

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Police officials declared Pioneer Memorial Church Senior Pastor Dwight Nelson missing this morning. The well-known Adventist evangelist was last seen playing Pokémon Read more […]

Self-professed Ellen White expert rummaging through red books looking for Bible

BATTLE CREEK, Mich. —  Self-styled Adventist heritage guru and enthusiastically amateur Ellen White writings compiler, Lester Lite, expressed mild consternation at not being able to find Read more […]

Pathfinders launch Pokémon GO honor, double membership

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Pathfinder directors across the country are struggling to accommodate a new surge of membership applications. Clubs everywhere have doubled in size since the introduction Read more […]

“Ghostbusters” producers sue Adventist Church for ghost-denying State of the Dead doctrine

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Producers of the new Columbia Pictures cinematic release Ghostbusters have filed a lawsuit against the Seventh-day Adventist Church claiming that it promotes doctrines Read more […]

Report: Adventist lay ministry activity on the rise

SILVER SPRING, Md.— A report into lay person engagement in the Adventist Church has noted a dramatic increase in activity over the last 12 months. Data from church members around the world Read more […]

Adventist Church to stock Noah’s Ark replica with every living beast for floating zoo

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Adventist Church has announced plans to fill a full-scale Noah’s Ark replica with “every living beast” for a floating zoo theme park. The already-built ark replica Read more […]

UN Secretary General honors Adventist Church for “Amazing Breakfast Cereal Innovations”

NEW YORK, N.Y. — In an early morning ceremony today, United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon formally thanked the Seventh-day Adventist Church for promoting health worldwide through “amazing Read more […]