BERKSHIRE, England — In a surprise visit hours before arriving in Scotland for the opening of the Trump Turnberry golf resort, Donald Trump toured the campus of Newbold College. Standing Read more […]
LONDON, United Kingdom — Already well-known for its Rolling Stones, the United Kingdom aimed a devastatingly effective projectile straight at the fragile feet of Nebuchadnezzar’s statue yesterday, Read more […]
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Recognizing the big bucks to be made in ultra-niche online dating dating sites, Loma Linda centenarian Edith Greenely has taken a break from her day job of self-defense Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In the first event of its kind, Ted Wilson, president of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, will fight boxing superstar and Filipino congressman Manny Pacquaio in Manila. Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a special dispensation for fans desperate to see Pixar’s new release, Finding Dory, General Conference officials have opted to allow Seventh-day Adventists to see the Read more […]
BALTIMORE, Md. — A study into the secrets of longevity among Seventh-day Adventists has at last revealed the reason they often live 10 years longer than the average American. The secret appears Read more […]
NEW YORK, N.Y. — MTV has announced plans to relaunch “Cribs,” the much-loved show which flaunted the incredible residences of rich celebrities. The first new episode will feature a building Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Adventist Book Centers around the world are struggling to keep up with the onslaught of frenzied Father’s Day shoppers, desperate to buy the very latest in Adventist men’s Read more […]
CHICO, Calif. — Sondage Mauvais of Chico Seventh-day Adventist Church was notified this week that due to the horrible scores on his spiritual gifts test, he has been assigned to doing the dishes Read more […]
BATTLE CREEK, Mich. — An Adventist husband, who declined to be named, expressed disappointment that describing his wife’s teeth as “a flock of shorn sheep” and her breasts as “two baby deer,” Read more […]
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