“Potluck Globe” to feature on all Adventist materials
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Adventist Church is mandating that a “Potluck Globe” image be added to all web or print materials designed by church entities worldwide. The Potluck Globe Read more […]
Chick-fil-A to close on Saturdays after rich Adventist invests
ATLANTA, Ga. — After a major investment in the fast food company from a wealthy Adventist, Chick-fil-A has announced that it will now close its doors on Saturdays. The popular chain is already Read more […]
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Walla Walla University transfers operational control to Sisters of Providence
COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — In a move that Walla Walla University administrators described as “a membership transfer and not a sale,” operational control of the school is being transferred to Sisters Read more […]
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Adventist Church creates vespers date app
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Adventist dating has exploded in popularity following the introduction of a mobile app called VespersDate. The app promises to allow Adventist singles to meet each other Read more […]
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Adventist Church buys Roma, changes name to ‘Silver Spring’
Breaking News SILVER SPRING,Md. — In a renewed push for caffeine-free coffee alternatives, the General Conference has purchased the roasted grain beverage brand Roma. However, because Read more […]
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Adventist Church adds fluency in Biblical Greek as requirement for baptism
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Adventist Church has lengthened its list of requirements for candidates wishing to get baptized. In addition to the traditional course of Bible studies, candidates Read more […]
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GC orders Adventist film festival to provide seating for guardian angels
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Just over a week away from the April 6-8 SONscreen film festival, General Conference overlords have ordered event organizers to provide seating for guardian angels. The Read more […]
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Adventist churches fitted with jewelry detectors
ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventist Churches have been fitted with jewelry detectors to ensure that no vain adornment makes it into church lobbies on Sabbath morning. While church leaders acknowledge Read more […]
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Florida’s Adventists leave state over lack of End Times mountain hideouts
FLORIDA — Expressing extreme frustration with the flatness of their home state, Floridian Adventists are leaving en masse for what they call “End Times reasons.” They blame the lack of mountains Read more […]
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Walla Walla aviation program scraps planes for balloons
COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — In a dramatic U-turn for Walla Walla University’s Aviation program, the existing fleet of planes has been sold to buy hot air balloons. Walla Walla made the decision Read more […]
