WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Adventist Church has been forced to halt one of its favorite witnessing activities after President Donald Trump banned distribution of copies of Ellen White’s The Great Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md.— In its most recent effort to eradicate clapping from Adventist congregations, the General Conference headquarters of the church has taken to supplying churches around the Read more […]
UPDATE (and this is not satire): On Thursday, February 23, Andrews University responded to the “It Is Time AU” video with a formal apology and pledge in the form of a video of its own titled “It Read more […]
ATLANTA, Ga. — The cloud of mystery hanging over Tom Brady’s Super Bowl LI jersey lifted today. The jersey which had gone missing soon after the New England Patriots won the Super Bowl turned Read more […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Without so much as a 24-hour warning, US President Donald Trump has deported the entire staff of the Silver Spring, Maryland-based Adventist Public Affairs and Religious Liberty Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a special warning this afternoon, General Conference officials warned members that neglecting to pray before they eat leads directly to food poisoning. In an email Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Pathfinder marching honor is officially a thing of the past. After an exhaustive study by the General Conference-based Biblical Research Institute, GC leaders say Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — General Conference ordination experts wiped away tears of joy and relief at the “sensible, male direction” that the United States is now heading after examining a recent Read more […]
WEST BANK — Veteran Adventist evangelist Doug Batchelor has made history with the discovery of a new Dead Sea scroll manuscript of the scriptures. The find happened during the annual caving retreat Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — An army of housekeeping inspectors has been hired by the General Conference. The new inspectors are tasked with manually checking Adventist homes for cleanliness on Friday Read more […]
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