Ben Carson’s politics voted Adventism’s Greatest Disappointment since 1844

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a Pew Research Center survey of Seventh-day Adventists, members of the denomination have overwhelmingly pointed to Adventist retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson’s political Read more […]

Walla Walla Engineering professor struggles with IKEA shelf assembly

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Frank Nova, a newly-tenured professor of Engineering at Walla Walla University, is reportedly at his wit’s end after 48 hours of grueling work on an IKEA bookshelf for Read more […]

Azure Hills Seventh-day Adventist Church invites Ted Wilson to be senior pastor

GRAND TERRACE, Calif. — The search committee seeking to replace recently retired Azure Hills Seventh-day Adventist Church Senior Pastor John Brunt has confirmed that they have asked current Read more […]

Jennifer Lawrence to play Ellen White in GC-funded movie

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — A full-length drama about the life and work of Ellen G. White, the female co-founder of the Seventh-day Adventist Church is in pre-production and Jennifer Lawrence has been Read more […]

General Conference employees forbidden from buying “Popemobile” Fiats

BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. — Hours after Pope Francis left the United States, General Conference employees received an email with strict instructions to refrain completely from buying Read more […]

Adventist church cool with gay people as long as they’re not gay about it

CAPE TOWN, South Africa — Affirmed in our Straighthood, the first-ever Adventist conference on alternative sexualities, was held in mid-March this year.  It was attended by almost 350 delegates Read more […]

Church board votes to have more arguments

Board members of the Verdugo Seventh-day Adventist Church voted Tuesday on new protocol for their meetings, which includes more arguments, to ensure the meetings definitely go on for too long. The Read more […]

Old man praises Adventism’s sleep quality benefits

PORTLAND, Ore. —  Chuck Matthews, 75, says he’s been a Christian since he was a child but that his recent conversion to Adventism has worked wonders for his sleep.  “I converted mostly Read more […]