Dan Jackson kidnapped, held at undisclosed GC location

SILVER SPRING, Md. — North American Division President Dan Jackson went missing from work today after an early morning meeting. Initially NAD staff were not concerned, but after a couple of hours Read more […]

Adventist Church: Phones that ring in services to be confiscated as offering

SILVER SPRING, Md. — If Adventists ever needed a good reason not to bring their phones to church, here’s one: If your cell phone rings in an Adventist Church from this coming Sabbath onward, Read more […]

Adventists reminded they can never predict how long a sermon will last

WORLDWIDE — This Sabbath, Seventh-day Adventists around the world reminded each other that while it was natural to hope their pastors would end their sermons soon, it was a very bad idea to Read more […]

Pathfinders taught to light campfires with a Samsung Note 7

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Pathfinders around the world are being offered what leadership calls “lessons in modern fire-starting.” Instead of learning traditional rules about how best to construct Read more […]

Ted Wilson: “I seriously regret encouraging TMI”

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In an emotional press conference this morning, General Conference President Ted Wilson spoke to reporters about the biggest regret of his time in office so far. “I seriously Read more […]

OBG – SLIDESHOW: Awkward Adventist moments

Check out what we dug out from the archives 🙂 Awkwardness happens to all Adventists. That doesn’t make it any less painful when it happens to you… Advertise on BarelyAdventist SPONSORED Read more […]

GC hacks Starbucks’ servers to catch Adventist account holders

SILVER SPRING, Md. — According to documents leaked this morning, a determined team of General Conference hackers has succeeded in downloading all names from Starbucks Rewards customer loyalty Read more […]

AV booth newbie hospitalized after pastor’s Sabbath death glare

CHICO, Calif.— Esplanade Seventh-day Adventist Church members have flocked to visit a fellow member who was hospitalized shortly after church yesterday. Phied Bach, an AV booth volunteer, Read more […]

Slideshow: How to dance like an Adventist

It’s been a rough week. For all of us. So we thought it might be fun to dig up some archived Adventist dance tips for the weekend that is finally here… Advertise on BarelyAdventist SPONSORED Read more […]

GC applies for infallibility permit from Vatican

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In an effort to ensure “streamlined compliance with new policy,” the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists has filed an application for infallibility with the Vatican. The Read more […]