SLIDE SHOW: Awkward Adventist Moments

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Awkwardness happens to all Adventists. That doesn’t make it any less painful when it happens to you…

It's Communion Sabbath...

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It's foot washing time at church. Your feet look like this.

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  1. “You run into another church member at Olive Garden after church.”

    Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
    Lutherans do not recognize the Pope as head of the Church.
    Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store.
    Adventists do not recognize each other in Walmart one minute after sunset on Friday.

    1. Marco Polo

      Or you can say, “Have you seen a dog running through here? My dog jumped out of my car and ran in here. Can you help me find him?” Then the other member can say, “What a coincidence! My cat just ran in here too. Can you help me find her?”

  2. Roberta McMahan

    I am a SDA and it is sad how some people in the church walks away when someone with gages in there ears and black nail polish and in jeans. Instead of making that person feel welcome. So sad so many don’t do WJWD.

    1. Richie Nixon

      I’m quite tolerant of girls with gages in their ears, but I still have problems with people who have roach bugs in their ears. Somehow it just don’t seem right.

  3. Harry Fotter

    My most awkward moment was when I ran into the church elder in the bar. He said, “What are you doing here?” I said, “I just came to give a Bible study.” He said, “Me too. I just came to pray for the dancers.”

  4. Cease Singh

    One time things got really awkward for my father during the men’s foot washing ceremony. The head deacon requested that dad and his buddy sitting next to him, stop their singing; guess it was an affront to the Lord.

  5. Ben Carsinogen

    One of my many awkward moments was when I attacked O’Bamacare at the 2013 Prayer Breakfast, standing just 3 feet away from O’Bama. Another was when I endorsed Donald Dump (“there are two Donalds”). Another was when I said that I really wanted to endorse somebody else but The Donald offered me a position. Another was when I said the other candidates are probably better but we would only have to put up with four years of Donald, which would be tolerable if I have a position in his administration. Another was when I danced on stage with Donald Tramp while some dude crooned “Stand by Me.” Sometimes I wonder, why did I ever get myself into this mess? Why didn’t I stay in the operating room?

  6. Ray Kraft

    What’s wrong with muddy feet? You wash ’em, they’re clean feet.

    Mud is good. Mud is water + dirt. God made dirt. God made water. So God made mud. And after God made everything he looked at all that he had made and said it was all good, says Genesis. So mud is good. No? God made dirt. So dirt is good. No?

    And God made the dancers in that bar where Harry Fotter and the church elder went, so the dancers are good, no?

  7. richard mills

    Pix # 3-If you bring it to my church, they will eat it. No matter what it is!! Notice the nice cheesey sauce on top. Yummy-Yummy good for your tummy.
    Pix # 8-I well remember in my youthful, teen age days, going into the Hot Shoppe, New Hampshire Ave., in Langley Park, next to Takoma Park and seeing SDA’s eating, waiting in line or exiting the place. Everyone was quite jovial-“Great sermon, Elder”, “Nice to see you Brother___”, “Let’s get together tomorrow for golf”, “See you in the office on Monday”, etc. The Conference officer told me it was OK, I put it on my credit card. No cash involved!! Oh, how I long for those good old days around Takoma Park!! Anyone else care to chime in? Woe iz me!!

  8. Millie Rice

    This site is a disgrace. The owner is perpetrating lies in the name of “satire.” Satire is one thing; lies are another. This site is neither one. Shame on you. And you can stop hiding behind that silly screen name “sevvy.” We know who you are; we have identified you as Leonard N. Tolstoy of Новосибирск, Russia, phone number (495) 555-1212. Why not use your time, talent, and effort to write something true and worthwhile, like War and Peace, or at least hip-hop rap lyrics? Nobody even reads this site anymore; and all the people who write comments are a big bunch of losers.

  9. Mike Jackson

    My most awkward moment was when the preacher said: “If you are perfect and have not sinned in the last 7 days, raise your hand.” I raised my hand.

    Then the pastor announced: “Well, sorry; you trashed your record just now.”

  10. Teddy Wilson

    Adventist foods:
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Haystacks
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Special-K Loaf
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ Little Debbie’s snack cakes
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ ‍Postum
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ ‍Carob
    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ • ‍ ‍Fri-Chik / Veja-Links
    Eat them, and you will surely go to heaven!‍ ‍ (Hezekiah 3:16)

    1. richard mills

      Teddy-I just looked up Hezekiah 3:16. You left out the part about MANNA. Mighty good stuff, no matter how you cook it. Just ask my wife. I’m having some tonight mixed with tofu. Fried in canola oil. Topped with Marinara sauce. Yummy-Yummy–good for your tummy.

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