Bearded Delegates Declare Battle Creek Itchiest Annual Council on Record

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Never again
BATTLE CREEK, Mich. — 2018 Annual Council delegates rushed through post-meeting evaluation forms in Battle Creek this week in a mad rush to get back to their hotels and shave before catching their flights home.

A huge majority of delegates left comments claiming that #GCAC18 was by far, the itchiest annual council they had ever attended. Delegates showed extraordary unity in imploring GC leadership to think long and hard before encouraging beards or 19th century garb for future meetings.

“It is impossible to do any form of independent, critical thought while struggling with a beard and collar that would drive J.N. Andrews himself crazy,” said a delegate who refused to identify himself. “Luckily, everyone arrived at this week’s vote with their mind made up.”

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