Ben Carson to host Saturday Night Live

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Baltimore, Md. — Ben Carson has accepted an invitation to host NBC’s Saturday Night Live this weekend. The invitation came as somewhat of a surprise to the Adventist former neurosurgeon turned all-but-declared presidential candidate.

“Dr. Carson has a way with shocking one-liners,” said SNL spokesperson Chris Davis, “We at SNL think there is some humor behind the political incorrectness that is getting so many people riled up. We think Dr. Carson is messing with us. That’s why we invited him.”

The neurosurgeon says that he is looking forward to hosting the show and is brushing up on his acting skills since he will appear in a number of sketches. “I’m not going to ruin the surprise for anyone but rest assured that nothing about my performance is going to be politically correct,” said Carson.

Running what many analysts believe is an early-stage presidential campaign fueled by blistering one-liners, Carson is beloved by a small yet highly motivated base and is increasingly loathed by others who find his provocative language offensive.

Although Carson is currently backtracking on his recent comment on CNN that prison makes people gay, he has many other choice phrases in his arsenal of rhetorical shockers. Starting with a thorough bashing of Obamacare as he shared the stage with the president at the 2013 National Prayer Breakfast, Carson has shocked at other occasions by comparing homosexuality to bestiality, likening Obamacare to slavery and comparing ISIS to the American Revolutionaries who fought for American independence from Britain.

“Ben Carson is easily the most controversial Adventist in the national spotlight right now,” said La Sierra University Journalism professor, Christina Luna. “Luckily, people don’t know he’s Adventist. Hopefully the SNL gig won’t change that.”

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  1. Ray Kraft

    Sorry, comparing Obamacare to “slavery” is just delusional. And if God didn’t love homosexuals He wouldn’t have made so many of ’em, right?

    Anyway, if Dr. Ben runs everybody’s gonna learn a lot more than they ever thought there was to know about Seventh Day Adventists . . . about how 55 kinds of dinosaurs went on the Ark with Noah and EGW’s teachings on “secret vice” and everything and that only 144,000 SDAs will be translated to heaven without seeing death when Jesus comes again next year, and everybody else has to die first and get resurrected later.

    It’s gonna be a ride!

    Oh, I hope he runs, I hope, I hope, I hope!

    What fun!

  2. Dr. Carson has been my hero. I have read and re-read “Gifted Hands” and recommended it to others. He is a great example of rising from poverty to success through innate brilliance, determination, and hard work. He was an incredible neurosurgeon. But I think he was much better at surgery than he would be at the presidency. My advice: stay out of politics.

    1. George Theimes

      If he runs for president, he will not win. He would only steal votes from some solid candidates and could prevent them from winning. He should stick to medicine, philanthropy, writing, and public speaking at over $40,000 per speech. I’d like to earn that much per hour!

  3. Loida Medina

    Dr. Carson is indeed a gifted person. His gift of speech and understanding is incredible. Sometimes he let’s go of words that may be poorly understood and misinterpreted and people are just waiting for him to trip and they make a big deal of that….so he has to be very careful in this aspect. He will make a good President but at this time I think that to head a government position first will be better. e.g. Head of the Dept of Education, VP, Senator, Head of Health Dept,,….and then spring to Presidency from there in 2020 or thereafter as he seeks God’s continued leading in his life. I like his ideas and I think we and the whole nation will profit from them….I will not worry about how SDAs will fare with him in high office…I will leave that in God’s hands, for knows the future.

  4. Sam Cadiente

    If God is in control, who are we to say that Ben Carson can not run for President. God used a Chaldean to punish Israel and Moses to punish the Canaanite sinners, God has always been using the UNLIKELIES. The Bible is full of stories of UNLIKELY people used by God.

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