Bible Study Group Spends Six Hours Debating Jesus’s Hairstyle, Fails to Reach Consensus

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What started as a routine Wednesday night Bible study at Hairsplit Seventh-day Adventist church quickly spiraled into an intense theological debate when someone innocently asked, “So, what do you think Jesus’s hair looked like?”

The seemingly harmless question, posed by newcomer Sarah Johnson, sent the usually placid group into a frenzy of scriptural cross-referencing and heated discussion.

“Jesus clearly had a neat, short haircut,” argued elder Bob Thompson, brandishing his well-worn King James Bible. “1 Corinthians 11:14 clearly states that if a man has long hair, it is a shame unto him.”

This statement was immediately challenged by youth leader Ashley Martinez, who countered with, “But what about Samson? His strength was in his hair! Surely Jesus, being perfect, would have had the most righteous hair possible!”
As the night wore on, various theories were proposed and hotly debated, including:

– Jesus had dreadlocks like an ancient Nazarite
– His hair was always perfectly styled by divine intervention
– He sported a modest yet trendy first-century fade

By midnight, with no resolution in sight and several friendships hanging by a thread, Pastor Mike Johnson was forced to intervene. “Perhaps,” he suggested wearily, “we should focus less on Jesus’s hairstyle and more on His teachings?”

The group reluctantly agreed, but not before scheduling a follow-up meeting to discuss the equally pressing matter of whether Jesus wore sandals or went barefoot.


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