Boring pastors forced to use laugh track for sermons

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SILVER SPRING, Md. — Adventist church members that notice more laughter than usual in their services may have the North American Division to thank. Effective next Sabbath, a number of churches across the United States will be forced participants in the NAD’s beta testing of laugh tracks to encourage smiles in church.

“This is a matter of particularly importance,” said NAD President Dan Jackson. “More Sabbaths than I care to admit, I am bored to tears by our pastors in the field. Something has to be done.”

NAD leadership examined a number of options to lift the mood in offending churches. “A lot of people were pushing for a book of approved jokes for our ministers to use. We opted against that in the end to avoid members hearing the same jokes cracked by all our worst pastors,” said Jackson.

The laugh track option solution was selected because it would require no humor on the part of particularly dry ministers. The laugh track manual simply instructs church AV technicians to play 2-5 second bursts of canned laughter “whenever a sermon or particularly long-winded announcements hits a natural lull.”

“For years now, we’ve been keeping a list of pastors in our division that have been identified as being especially unfunny. We are fully confident that the laugh track will bring some much needed pep to their monologues,” said Jackson.

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  1. Richard Mills

    Canned laughter for sermons? Since when have sermons supposed to be humorous? Let’s have canned “AMENS”, “PRAISE THE LORD”, “HALLEJUAH”, etc. I think canned laughter was used at the last GC session in Atlanta. Maybe those in attendance were prompted to laugh on pre-arranged signal..No canned laughter. Stick to the WORD!!

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