Wednesday, April 23, 2025

Adventist Attire

Adventist Churches Not Re-Opening Until Everyone Gets Haircut

ADVENTIST WORLD --- Conference and union leaders across the Adventist world have warned their churches will stay shut until their members get haircuts. "Lack of...

Adventists Split On Whether You Should Dress Up For Online Church

ADVENTIST WORLD --- Adventists are finding it impossible to agree on whether or not we should all be dressing up for streaming church. According...

GC Announces Adventist Pioneer-Themed Halloween Party

  SILVER SPRING, Md. --- For Halloween this year, General Conference officials are asking everyone to dress as Adventist pioneers again. "Channelling the Whites was so...

Nicki Minaj Announces Retirement, Donation Of Entire Wardrobe To Adventist Community Services

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. --- Rapper Nicki Minaj followed the shocking announcement of her retirement with another tweet saying that she was donating her entire...

GC Issues Rare Male Modesty Guidelines For Lederhosen-Loving Germans

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- German Adventist men have received personalized letters from the General Conference imploring them to wear lederhosen that, at the very...

Queer Eye Decides to Make Over Weimar’s Dress Code

WEIMAR, Calif. --- The fashionistas on Netflix hit Queer Eye have offered to take on an entirely pro bono project in doing a makeover...

Compliant Line of Pantyhose Launched by GC

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Shortly after the General Conference of 2010 in Atlanta GA., then newly elected GC President, Ted Wilson, sent a memo...

Wilson announces he is “done with neckties”

KATHMANDU, Nepal --- Dressed head to toe in traditional Nepali fashion, General Conference President Ted Wilson announced today that he was "done with neckties." Speaking...