Delegate With No Instance Of Non-Compliance To Cast First Stone Of Annual Council Reprimand

SILVER SPRING, Md. — As Annual Council delegates ready themselves for the important duty of shaming conscientious objectors, leaders are reminded of heavenly policy stipulating that only a delegate Read more […]

GC Crafts Abortion Statement Because Members Can’t Think For Themselves

SILVER SPRING, Md. — A new draft document expressing the Adventist position on abortion is being prepared for Annual Council this year because Adventist members are unable to think, pray Read more […]

Jackson Calls for GC to Clearly Label Working Policy Hooey

Columbia, Maryland — North American Division President, Dan Jackson, has called on the General Conference to “clearly label any and all hooey in the GC Working Policy.” In addition, Jackson Read more […]

Bearded Delegates Declare Battle Creek Itchiest Annual Council on Record

BATTLE CREEK, Mich. — 2018 Annual Council delegates rushed through post-meeting evaluation forms in Battle Creek this week in a mad rush to get back to their hotels and shave before catching Read more […]

ABC stores sell out of “REPRIMANDED” T-shirts

  UNITED STATES — Adventist Book Centers across the country have announced that they have sold out of “REPRIMANDED” T-shirts that were launched earlier this week. The T-shirts went Read more […]