Adventist date doctor promises romance for single Adventists over 30

Berkeley, Calif. — Justin Tamber, a self-styled “Adventist Date Doctor” promises prospective Adventist clients over age 30 a happy romance with a fellow Adventist within a month of signing Read more […]

Adventist newlyweds to continue pre-wedding zero tolerance policy toward kissing

Rob and Kristen Davis believe that the secret to what they call a “long and fuss-free marriage” can be summed up in two words: No kissing. “We are proud to say that we did not kiss once during Read more […]

Dental Hygiene students furious that less than 50% of Loma Linda curriculum handles dating

  LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Weeks away from the start of a new school year, Loma Linda University Dental Hygiene students staged a huge protest today against what they are calling a “grossly Read more […]

All Adventist pastors’ wives to be compensated for pain and suffering

  SILVER SPRING, Md. — Adventist pastors’ wives around the world are celebrating a groundbreaking victory with the announcement that they will be added to the official church payroll.  Read more […]

Walla Walla University to offer arranged marriages to all single students

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — “After years of intense competition, Walla Walla has dealt Southern a death blow,” read an internal Walla Walla University administration memo that was leaked this morning. For Read more […]

96-year-old Adventist woman marries for 11th time

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich — Through no fault of her own, Eleanor Chambers has outlived 10 husbands and is about to marry her eleventh, Charles Spencer.  “I lost count after I beat Elizabeth Taylor’s Read more […]