Trump phones wiretapped with tech invented by Southern to spy on students

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Trump administration has released actual details on how Trump Tower phones were allegedly wiretapped by the Obama administration. “The technology used had been deployed Read more […]

Southern’s Daniel and Revelation scholars say Falcons Super Bowl win is prophesied

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Biblical prophecy experts from Southern Adventist University released a formal statement saying the Atlanta Falcons are prophesied to win the 2017 Super Bowl. “For the Read more […]

Southern freshman flying to school must pay for extra bags

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Southern Adventist University freshman Demas Yado arrived at Sacramento International Airport today wondering if she had forgotten to pack anything for school. The aspiring Read more […]

Southern’s Village Market bankrupt after disappointing Valentine’s carob sales

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Southern Adventist University’s Village Market has declared bankruptcy after failing to sell any of its Valentine’s carob inventory. Despite starting to advertise the product Read more […]

Ben Carson declared president-elect of Southern Adventist University

BREAKING NEWS COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — In a surprise announcement this morning, Southern Adventist University named Adventist former neurosurgeon and GOP presidential candidate Ben Carson, president-elect Read more […]

Southern to host Beasts of Revelation-themed Halloween Party

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Citing a need to sanitize a downright pagan holiday, Southern Adventist University administrators have announced a Beasts of Revelation-themed Halloween Party. Officially Read more […]

Kim Davis joins Religion faculty at Southern

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Kim Davis, the newly-famous county clerk from Rowan County, Ky. has accepted a full professorship at Southern Adventist University’s School of Religion. Davis was jailed Read more […]

Southern OKs dance parties, calls them mime workshops

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — In a decision widely celebrated by new and returning students, Southern Adventist University has greenlighted student dance parties on campus as sanctioned social activities. Read more […]

VIDEO: Southern student’s Little Debbie-inspired short film

The workweek approacheth and we thought it was time for a Little Debbie – inspired short film to shake things up. So here for your viewing pleasure is “Goodbye Honey Bun”, a short produced and directed Read more […]