NEW YORK, N.Y. — In Forbes Magazine’s annual review of American wedding costs, a four-year-or-more education at Walla Walla University has been rated as the most expensive way to get married in the United States.
“While it isn’t the most expensive college education in the United States and not even the priciest Seventh-day Adventist college education, what sets Walla Walla apart is that the expected outcome is first and foremost marriage,” said Forbes researcher, Yokem Good.
“No one says much about GPA when a kid comes home from Walla Walla. But you better believe your parents want to hear how your last banquet went. That’s how you know that college tuition is seen as a wedding expense,” said Good. “Dropping over a hundred grand on a wedding before you have sent out an invite is a pricey way to go by pretty much anyone’s standards.”
Good said that Forbes findings at Walla Walla led to ongoing research into Seventh-day Adventists spending patterns. While they are normally “a penny pinching bunch”, Good says that this frugality does not extend to their approach to setting their kids up for marriage.
“What’s ironic is that, after spending way over a hundred grand finding a mate for your kid, Adventists then throw wedding receptions potluck style in decidedly unadorned church fellowships hall and serve genuinely unclassy, bulk-bought Martinelli’s of whatever flavor was on sale,” said Good.
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Cool name for the Forbes researcher, “Yokem Good.” Yup, WWU will “yoke ’em good” and they will be equally yoked — and in loads of debt. . . .
I took dream interpretations 101 here once. Had to drop the class since i did not pay for the class. The Mormon prophet was there too, he stayed but failed the course.
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the mail carrier with the student loan bill!
Walla Walla should give everyone a full scholarship like the one I was offered from West Point.
You’re crazy if you believe anything Ben says! You’re also crazy if you believe me!
The author must not have attended many Adventist weddings. My reception, like many that I have attended, was at a banquet hall, catered, and classy. Because we don’t drink alcohol, we do use Martinelli’s or other sparkling ciders. Of the hundreds of Adventist weddings I’ve attended, I don’t remember any that were potluck. And it’s not unusual for students to hope to find a mate while in college. It happens all over America.
FORGET THE WEDDING. POCKET THE MONEY. WALLA WALLA OFFERS THE MOST EXPENSIVE USELESS DIPLOMAS
You know what one of the Three Stooges (Curly) once said? “Here’s a walla. There’s a walla. WALLAWALLA!! Yuk, Yuk, Yuk!!” I might have had a better chance at Loma Linda. Many of those medical students become MD’d and get rich. Wish I were young once more!! Woe is me!!
LOL. I HEAR YOU
This cannot be an Adventist (or even “barely Adventist”) publication, because it shows wedding rings in the picture. Since when are Adventists allowed to publicly show their commitment to their spouse? Last I heard, they have to keep everybody wondering if they’re single. Which candidate does NOT wear any jewelry of any kind? (Hint: it’s NOT Ben Carson.)
Donald Dump
Kris Kristy
Jeb Butch
Mark O. Ruby-o
Ben Carsinogen
Carly Flouride
John KaySnitch
Bobby Gin-Doll
Hilarious Clinton
Bernie Colonel Sanders
Jim Kill-more
Rick Stinktorum
George Plasticky
Rand Pallbearer
Mike Huckleberry
Ted Cruise-control
Donald Trumpet
Sum Ting Wong
?
I am a church elder. Tonight at the church board meeting, I will report that I spotted the deacon in the topless bar last week. He will certainly have some explaining to do.