GC to Carson: “Say you’re Baptist”

Ben Carson receives the Presidential Medal of Freedom
Ben Carson receives the Presidential Medal of Freedom
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Scrutiny of the Seventh-day Adventist Church is intensifying by the day as Adventist retired neurosurgeon and US presidential candidate, Dr. Ben Carson has begun to establish himself as the new Republican front-runner.

Adventist leaders, distraught at some of Carson’s polarising comments are desperately trying to distance the church from the candidate.  Their latest tactic has been to suggest that he presents himself as a Baptist.

“What we’re asking for is no big deal,” said General Conference Director of Reversals, O. Streedg Sand.  “We really aren’t that different from the Baptists.  Switch out the day, bring back everlasting hell and start eating ham and you’re basically good to go.”

Dr. Carson could even claim Seventh-day Baptist afilliation if he wanted to, said Sand, “we just need our phones to stop ringing 24/7.”

Sand said that the Seventh-day Adventist Church hadn’t gotten this much unwanted PR “since the whole Waco thing back in ’93.  And Koresh wasn’t even Adventist. This time the headlines will be way worse.”

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54 Comments

  1. Richard Mills

    What is the GC afraid of? Will all this notariety bring disaster upon the SDA church & membership? Can persecution be far behind? Get thee behind me, GC!! I know it’s satire, but the truth is too close here! Woe is me!!

  2. STU REDMAN

    IS IT ENOUGH TO SAY YOU ARE “CHRISTIAN” OR MUST WE DECLARE MEMBERSHIP TO A DENOMINATION?
    SALVATION IS IN AND THRU CHRIST AND HIM ALONE. MEMBERSHIP AND COMPLIANCE WITH RULES AND REGS OF A DENOMINATION WONT CUT IT.

    NICE PHOTO. I MET PRES G BUSH ONCE IN CHICAGO. NICE MAN. CLAIMS HE IS CHRISTIAN.

  3. Danilvy

    This is just my opinion if this article is authentic and not just another one made up by the media. To me what the GC is doing is bringing bad publicity to themselves. The GC should size this opportunity to make the Seventh Day Adventist known. God is in control, not them. God will allow things to happen according to his plans, not the GC’s plans.

    1. Danilvy

      No one knows why the pyramids were built. We are all entitled to our own assumptions. We were not there. So sad to make fun of another human being, just because they think differently than us.

      1. Ray Kraft

        We are entitled to our own assumptions, but that doesn’t make them true or even sensible. Dr. Ben said he thought the pyramids were built for grain storage, but they are 99% solid stone, with less than 1% empty space inside, passages, chambers, so as a practical matter of fact Dr. Ben’s opinion is either ignorance or nonsense.

        Dr. Ben is running for president, arguably the most critical single job on earth, he needs to be scrutinized very carefully before we go to the polls. Just like every other candidate.

        1. Danilvy

          I am so glad I was able to brighten your day! Life is too stressful and short as it is, to keep complicating it with not serious matters. It is so good to lighten up, I am glad I was able to help you 🙂

      1. Ray Kraft

        The bling. They wanna go to heaven and get the bling, the Big Mansion, the Streets Paved With Gold, an endless life of infinite effortless bliss.

        Jesus never said “Go ye into all the world and build big churches.”

        Jesus said, “Feed the hungry. Care for the sick. Shelter the homeless. Whatever you do for them, you do for me.” Matthew 25.

        But most of the churches, Adventists and all the others, spend WAY more money building big churches than they do feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, and sheltering the homeless.

        Christians In Name Only.

        CINOs.

        1. Danilvy

          I don’t think is fair to generalize, because in my church we just stayed overnight taking turns fedding 2 homeless families, taking them to school for a week until they were able to find a place to call home. We do this and others things for the community as often as needed.

  4. Ray Kraft

    LOL! It’s way too late for the Adventist church to escape from the long tentacles of President Dr. Ben!

    I just can’t wait ’til Bill Maher finds out that Ellen G. White says that dinosaurs were “an amalgamation of man and beast,” and that “secret vice” is the leading cause of death, disease, and insanity!

  5. Sam Spade

    Dr. Carson rebuked the liberal media for trying to stir up a scandal over his untruthful claim of a West Point scholarship: “”There’s got to be a scandal. There’s got to be some nurse he’s had an affair with. There’s got to be something.’ They have gotten desperate,” Carson said. “Next week, it will be my kindergarten teacher who said I peed in my pants. It’s ridiculous. But it’s OK because I totally expect it.” http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/06/politics/ben-carson-responds-violent-past-new-day/

    1. Joe Thursday

      There are rational, reasonable explanations for all of the so-called “lies” that the liberal media are accusing Carson of, including the Mannatech connection, the Perceptions 301 make-up exam at Yale, the claim of being temperamental and violent as a child, and the offer of a West Point education. It’s laughable how they are going through his book with a fine-toothed comb, desperately trying find something–anything–they can call “inconsistent” or “inaccurate.” Spend 5 minutes surfing reputable news outlets and you will see why the liberal critics’ accusations are full of holes. The liberal scandal-seekers are the only ones lying. Specifically, they’re lying about Carson. I bet their next step will be to bribe a nurse to claim there was an affair, or bribe Carson’s kindergarten teacher to claim that he once urinated in his pants or forgot to flush the toilet. I wouldn’t be surprised if The Donald or The Hillary are behind this quest to raise a scandal. It is sad to see how low the shysters will stoop in a vicious effort to discredit a true hero.

  6. David

    Satire: “the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like”

    That means it’s all a big joke. Don’t take everything you read on the internet seriously folks. Let’s wait to see what Dr Carson does or does not do, then let’s make some informed comments.

    1. Ebony LaSmith

      Of course he does. It’s true. And even if it’s not true, he has the right to have a picture like that. And even if he doesn’t have a right to have a picture like that, he still has a right to believe it. Even if he doesn’t have a right to believe it, he has a right to think it. And even if he doesn’t have a right to think it, he has a right to feel like that.

        1. WHY I VOTE DEMOCRAT:
          BUILD UP THE GAY AGENDA, REGARDLESS OF WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT IT.
          MAKE PEOPLE DEPEND ON GOVERNMENT HANDOUTS AND HAVE THE FOOLS WHO WORK PAY FOR IT.
          WE NEED MORE ABORTIONS, OUR BELOVED FOUNDER OF PLANNED PARENTHOOD AGREED WITH THE NAZI ON RACIAL CONTROL.
          ALL DRUGS WILL BE LEGALIZED ONE DAY, POT IS THE BEGINNING, PEOPLE NEED TO BE FREE TO CHOOSE, A JUNKY IS NEVER GONNA PROGRESS.
          WE NEED A GOVERNMENT THAT WILL TURN A BLIND EYE ON THE SUBTLE TAKE OVER BY MUSLIMS.
          WE NEED A COUNTRY WHERE RELIGION AND TRUST AND FAITH IN GOD WILL BE ABOLISHED.

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