Dro Ning, lead researcher from the Homiletics Department of the Andrews University Theological Seminary, said that no other words had the same abiliy to bring smiles and sweet relief to the faces of members.
No matter where in the world they are uttered, Ning claimed, the two words had been observed to have a near miraculous effect on Adventists. “The moment a preacher utters the words ‘in conclusion,’ hope shines brightly in the eyes of our brothers and sisters; they sit up and pay amazing attention,” said Ning.
He cautioned that preachers can entirely destroy their credibility as church leaders if they use the words “in conclusion” more than once in a sermon. “Using these words in vain is tantamount to sin in the eyes of your average Adventist.”
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Which reminds me that Amen was one of the many Gods of early Egypt, so every time Adventists say “Amen” they are invoking the ancient Sun God of Egypt, Amen.
So how about that song . . . Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen . . . Amen, Amen, Glory Hallelujiah! Amen, Amen, Amen . . .
I swear on a stack of tortillas that I have had Adventist ministers in churches which I attended who had 100 stock sermon paragraphs on 3 x 5 cards, and every week they would reshuffle the cards and say exactly the same things word for word only in a different order.
After a few weeks this had the salutorious effect of putting me into a deep coma for an hour, so the sermon time passed very quickly.
I do the same thing in my stump speeches at my political rallies. But there’s too much violence to fall asleep there.
Words-words-words -what do they all mean anyway? “In closing” is also another phrase being worn out by pastors. This guy from Andrews needs to get out in the filed more often. Let us return to the good old days of Floyd Detamore, the Barron brothers, HMS Richards Sr. & Jr., Joe Crews, Billy Sunday, the Coon brothers from upstate NY, etc. I want more hell fire & brimstone. All the scary stuff. All them words that will make you feel guilty. Maybe some words to make me fall down on the floor and roll around. Prepare Ye the Way, all youse law breakers. Fess up. Give up your wicked ways. I am undone. Woe iz me!!
Words don’t mean nothin’ unless you think they mean somethin’. BTW, the best fire & brimstone preacher was Jonathan Edwards. Ever heard his sermon, “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God?” You could feel your shoes catching on fire, just listening to it. I was so scared, I didn’t tell any lies for a whole week!
During a TED AY Pathfinder Camporee in Norway 1998, pastor Bob Holbrook one evening treated the pathfinders & their leaders with the shortest sermon ever, as his only 3 words were: “Remember Lots’ wife!”.
No ‘in conclusion’ nessecary 😀 …
I prefer “Jesus wept.” My attention span is too short for 3 words.
@Donald Tramp: your 2 words do come from the Word, Holbrooks’ words (i.e. his whole sermon) were probably written down by him self (or he stole it from anorher one) after done some toroughly Bible study, I gues/hope … 😀
a goldfish has the attention span of 9 seconds…surely you can beat that…..?
Somewhat like the pilot coming on the speaker after a long boring night flight to say “Ladies and gentlemen, we have begun our final approach.”
It’s sort of like what the nurse says before sticking you with the needle: “This will only feel like a mosquito bite.” Or what the undertaker says before lowering you into the grave: “I’d be the last one to let you down.”
Pastors: the real trick to keeping people awake in a sermon, is to tell them that you’re just going to talk about something from the heart before preaching the sermon. You proceed to “talk from the heart” (which is actually preaching the content of the sermon), and then you announce: “Since that heart-to-heart talk took longer than I expected, I will forego preach a sermon today.” Your congregation won’t have the slightest clue that you actually did preach the sermon, and you will be a hero in their eyes! (By the way, this is sort of what I do in my political rallies.)
That’s what Donald Tramp does, too.
The really smart preachers say “in conclusion” only once: near the beginning of their sermon. For the next 45 minutes they just give the conclusion.
Darn, wish I’d been taught this year’s ago at the advent cemetery I might still be preachin about them 3 angels.
It would have worked if you said “in conclusion” near the beginning of the sermon. For the next 45 minutes you would just give the “conclusion.”
The lead researcher, Dr. “Dro Ning,” has quite a name. Once, when a preacher realized he was “droning,” he offered an excuse: “Sorry, I forgot to bring my watch.” The deacon piped up, “You don’t need a watch, Rev. There’s a calendar on the wall right beside you.”