Look what we dug up from the BarelyAdventist archive:)
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It’s hard to imagine what life would be like without haystacks!
Slide # 7 is heresy. You should have specified vegan soy cheese or Daiya casava cheese. Remember, “what you eat is what you are.” You don’t want to turn into a cow, do you? I call for an immediate amendment or retraction of slide 7.
You are what you eat, so I’m a vegetable. Some people are tofu. You wanna turn into SoyChick? Or a pinto bean?
Cows are smarter than beans and vegetables, so which would you rather be?
Ray, the cows up here in Alaska are not very smart. I can see them (and Russia) from my house. I would rather be a snowmobile, or Tramp’s VP.
I’ve been an SDA since before I was born, and I have never heard of using refried beans in haystacks. This is nonsense. It is supposed to be whole pinto beans or chili beans. This proves that sevvy is an imposter. He’s not really an SDA, he’s a Mormon or a Mennonite.
Four out of five Adventist cooks say this recipe is wrong. Eight out of ten doctors say you better take Beano when eating it. Nine out of ten dentists say you better brush your teeth after eating it.
Haystacks will be the official cuisine of the Tramp Restaurant on top of the Great Wall of Mexico. Remember how I bought Ben Carson’s endorsement by promising him a role in my administration? He’s gonna be the authentic SDA Chief Haystacks Chef.
I always heard the bean jingle as follows, and doesn’t use the word fart. Which, however, is a word I do like to use when I can.
“Beans, Beans the Musical Fruit, the More You Eat, the More You Toot !!”
An eye for an eye, and a toot for a toot !
Ever heard of “salvation by faith”? Actually, it is “salvation by food.” Think of these special Adventist foods:
• Special-K Loaf
• Little Debbie’s snack cakes
• Fri-Chik / Veja-Links / Veggie Burgers
Eat those, and you will surely go to heaven! Hezekiah 3:16 = “The dude ate the right food, so he shall inherit eternal life. For salvation is by food, through legalism.”
I, officially recommend this recipe except for the guacamole, fruit pieces and the cilantro. I have a delicate digestive system. No dollar store chips for me, only FRITOS. Use quality paper plates-9″ or larger. New England baked beans is the best. You might resemble a choo choo train comin’ round the bend! Wash it all down with a large ice cold glass of Dad’s Root Beer or Sprite or some carbonated drink to assist in the metabolism. Yes, I are what I eat. Come on down for a haystack treat over the Memorial Day weekend. A woe iz me!
Hey Richard, I’ll be dropping by for some “tremendous” haystacks when I have a YUGE rally over your way this weekend. Is it OK if I also bring my old publicist, John Miller? You’ve heard Ben Carson say “there are two Donald Trumps,” right? Well, now you know: one of them is The Donald, and one is my alter ego John Miller. Just sayin’.