Burnt Oak Adventist Church cracking down on jewelry creep

Holland, MI – Not content to simply sit back and allow for the invasion of jewelry into Adventist congregations across North America, the Burnt Oak Adventist Church decided to get practical. “We Read more […]

Dwight Nelson launches line of anti-aging creams

Berrien Springs, MI — Dr. Dwight Nelson has decided to answer the question that has been burning in the hearts of fellow pastors and parishioners alike: “Why does he never age?” The Andrews Read more […]

Adventists rescued as practice ‘Run for the Hills’ goes wrong

photo by http://3.bp.blogspot.com SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — A group of 28 exhausted Adventists has been rescued 24 hours after straying from a popular hiking trail.  “We were on a hike that was Read more […]

New i-Wade device takes the guesswork out of Sabbath water activity dilemmas

image courtesy of campgroundsigns.com – click image for link WEIMAR, Calif. — A ground-breaking technological development is taking Adventist communities around the world by storm. Adventist Read more […]

Amazing Fact: Doug Batchelor to join Dancing with the Stars

Sacramento, CA — In a surprise announcement, Doug Batchelor’s organization Amazing Facts has stated in a press release that Batchelor will be joining this year’s season of “Dancing With the Read more […]

Washington Adventist University students forced to work phone banks as rumors grow of Ben Carson presidential run

TAKOMA PARK, Md. — The administration of Washington Adventist University has taken preemptive action in the event that Adventist former pediatric neurosurgeon Ben Carson officially enters Read more […]

Spectrum Magazine wins international award for angriest comment section

ROSEVILLE, Calif. — In big news for the online version of what many call “MSNBC for Adventists”, Spectrum Magazine has won a prestigious Netty web excellence award for Angriest Comment Section Read more […]

Revelation beast illustrations are not scary enough, says General Conference

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Illustrators at the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists have reportedly been taking a lot of heat over complaints that the renderings of the beasts of Revelation Read more […]

New General Conference guidelines being drafted to eliminate nasty potluck dishes

SILVER SPRING, Md. — There has been a growing realization on the part of many church officials at the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists that the quality of potlucks in many Adventist Read more […]