Malfunction on ADRA’s Useful Christmas Gift catalog results in massive goat delivery to Paradise Adventist Church

PARADISE, Calif. — A makeshift petting zoo has been opened in the parking lot of Paradise Adventist Church after an unexpected Christmas Eve delivery of approximately 300 goats. The surprise Read more […]

Wisconsin Conference employees busted for using Dorcas donations for Christmas ugly sweater party

FALL RIVER, Wis. — Details are emerging this morning of a late-night security intervention at the Wisconsin Conference offices. ADT Security personnel arrived at the office building shortly Read more […]

Australian Adventist Church sets tithing records by refusing membership transfers out

PERTH, Australia — East Perth Church’s tithe numbers are shattering historic records for Adventism in Australia. While the booming tithe figures have made it highly popular with administrators Read more […]

New Hope Channel Late Night Show to air at 6:30 PM

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Thousands of dedicated Hope Channel viewers are getting ready to set their electric blankets to medium, brew cups of Postum and spread healthy dollops of soy cheese Read more […]

MTV’s ‘The Real World’ announces Great Lakes Adventist Academy as next season’s location

VAN NUYS, Calif. — In a radical departure from its usual urban locations, MTV’s The Real World reality show has chosen to shoot its 31st season at Great Lakes Adventist Academy in Cedar Read more […]

Pagan symbol witch-hunt leads to disassembling of church nativity scene

Red Bluff, Calif. — A wave of confusion and finger-pointing has hit the congregation of Central Adventist Church. Members in the know say it all started when traveling evangelist Fred Durbar Read more […]

Canadian University College abandons status as ‘Most Confusingly-Named School in Adventism’

ALBERTA, Canada — Administrators at Canadian University College waited for students to leave for Christmas break to announce that the school was abandoning its long-held status as “Most Read more […]

ABC stores stock veggie cheese that doubles as emergency candle

A new brand of vegetarian cheese has just hit the shelves of Adventist Book Centers. Marketed as a “multi-purpose product,” Durocheeze is not only a “delicious” cheese substitute but also comes Read more […]

GC: Casinos off limits unless they make huge donations to Adventist hospitals

SAN BERNARDINO, Calif. — Adventists in the Loma Linda are have been flocking to San Manuel Indian Bingo and Casino, a huge gaming complex close to the university. The traditional Adventist Read more […]

Camel joins La Sierra University Church Pastoral Staff

RIVERSIDE, Calif. — In an absolute first for Seventh-day Adventism, La Sierra University Church has added a camel to its pastoral staff. Abu the Camel made his debut appearance this week Read more […]