COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Pastor Jed Dumas of Berbose Community Adventist Church is seriously considering eliminating his weekly sermon altogether, citing the fact that his worship leader, Wes Crosby, just repeats and summarizes everything he says anyway.
“I pour my heart and soul into these sermons, crafting them with care, but what’s the point?” lamented a frustrated Pastor Dumas. “No sooner do I say ‘Amen’ than Wes grabs the mic and proceeds to give a 10-minute highlight reel of my entire message before the closing prayer. It’s like clockwork.”
Dumas says he first noticed the pattern a few months ago. “At first I thought maybe Wes was just really moved by a particular sermon. But then it kept happening week after week. I’d make three points and he’d repeat those three points. I’d share an anecdote and sure enough, he’d share it again. It’s uncanny.”
Church members have also picked up on the weekly ritual. “I used to get so much out of Pastor Dumas’ sermons,” said longtime member Ethel Horton. “But now I just kind of tune out, knowing that Wes is going to give me the SparkNotes version anyway. It’s like déjà vu every Sabbath.”
Dumas says he’s tried dropping hints to Crosby, to no avail. “I’ve mentioned how I’m trying to be more concise, that I don’t want to belabor points. But subtlety is lost on Wes. He just can’t help himself.”
Now, Dumas is considering drastic measures. “Maybe I should just let Wes preach the whole thing and cut out the middleman. He seems to think he can do my job anyway. Or maybe I’ll start ending my sermons with ‘In conclusion…’ and then just keep going for another 20 minutes to throw him off. I don’t know, I’m at my wit’s end here.”
At press time, Crosby was seen furiously scribbling notes during Dumas’ sermon, his eyes alight with what could only be described as a hungry gleam.
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