Police Called On Member Texting In Church

Dullville, Mich. – Cop cars descended on Dullville Seventh-day Adventist Church last Sabbath after an emergency call from an elder.

Earnest Plodir placed the 911 call about halfway through the sermon after his repeated glares at the youth leader seated behind him failed to so much as persuade the young woman to look up from her screen. 

Plodir beamed with satisfaction as officers burst into the sanctuary. He pointed gravely at the young offender he’d reported for disturbing the peace.

With the service at a complete standstill, officers questioned the utterly confused “texter” who explained that she was simply live tweeting the sermon per a brand new social media initiative Plodir had never bothered to understand. 

The service resumed 20 minutes later as police finished lecturing Plodir on reporting false emergencies and the now-demoted former elder was sent to the parking lot to start directing exiting traffic.


You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.


(Visited 105 times, 2 visits today)

One comment

  1. Larry

    Dullsville says it all ! The IPhone has saved church. I no longer have to listen to crappy dull sermons. Always the same old crap. Always telling me how sinful I am. Now I can go to church and see my friends and not listen to crappy, dumb, guilt intending sermons. If by some mistake/miracle the sermon is good, I can always listen. But now I have several options: Listen to sermon, text on IPhone, play games on IPhone, Listen to music on IPhone, listen and watch a for sure good sermon by Randy Roberts at LLU Church, or best of all go on Zoom and listen to the best of all, Adventist Today Sabbath School. Best of all I can do it out where God Lives, on San Francisco Bay.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *