“Straight Outta Compton” inspires Heritage Singers “Straight Outta Placerville” movie

The first Adventist box office hit?
The first Adventist box office hit?
PLACERVILLE, Calif. — The huge box office success of biographical drama Straight Outta Compton chronicling the rise and fall of Compton, California hip-hop group N.W.A. has inspired Seventh-day Adventist favorites, the Heritage Singers, to make a dramatic feature of their own: Straight Outta Placerville.

The biographical drama will portray co-founder and de facto group leader Max Mace’s dangerous beginnings in Placerville, California as a veggie meat dealer escaping frequent scrapes with irate Adventist housewives cornering him in church lobbies and demanding refunds for defective fake chicken.

The Heritage Singers promise high-adrenaline tractor races through the fields of Placerville at speeds approaching 35mph and have warned Adventist fans that children should not be allowed to watch the cow tipping escapades that punctuated the early decades.

While the film will mostly focus on victories, members have bravely decided to include a scene or two showing the horrible consequences that come with the addiction some of the singers have to carob treats. “We’re embarrassed for them,” said Mace, “but we haven’t given up hope that one day our fellow singers will find the pure joy that only real chocolate can bring.”

Although the Heritage Singers are promising an uplifting tone overall, they are also promising to “get real” about what, at times, has been a bitter rivalry with the King’s Heralds, another classic Adventist group which has, over the years, threatened to steal fans in the valuable retiree demographic.

Despite competition from other Adventist musical acts, the real villains of Straight Outta Placerville are stiff executives at the General Conference headquarters of the Seventh-day Adventist Church. Time and time again in the movie, the group is sent lengthy letters by church executives ordering them to tone down their show.  “Adventist leaders have never been comfortable with anything that gets members smiling too broadly or tapping their toes,” said Mace.

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7 Comments

    1. Donaldo Trumpez

      I agree, Ray. It will be even bigger than a Donald Trump campaign convention. The best part will be the scene depicting the singers’ addiction to carob and spinach.

  1. Richard Mills

    How about doing one called “Outta Takoma Park”? Show the shenanigans of the NAD AdHoc committees. Or “Outta Loma Linda” featuring Dr. Ben Casey. Maybe “Outta Collegdale”. Who can eat the most Little Debbies in 30 minutes non stop! The one I like best is “Outta Orlando” featuring the Wives of Florida Hospital interns. Let’s just keep it clean for showing at the 2016 camp meetings. Oooops, I forgot one-“Outta Sacremento” starring Doug B. & the Cave Man Years. “Take Six” can write the lyrics. Or am I missing something here? Woe iz me.

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